DSERF? DSURF? DCRF? How do you spell it again?

When I came to Fort Polk to report for my first duty station out of AIT. I had already been told my battalion had no plans to deploy for another 4 years much to my disappointment. When I was getting in-briefed into the post I had a number of officers and Senior Non Commissioned Officers throwing the phrase "D-Surf" around. I had no idea what in the hell that meant but it sparked my curiosity. Despite all this I wanted to deploy to the war zone like every other soldier who's had it pounded into their head since basic.

There must be somebody who needs killing...

When I got to 178 Engineer Company that damn "D-Surf" name kept coming up. Yet no one could exactly explain what it was. What i was told is that I'd have to pack my crap up and get ready to go to Florida in a few weeks (irregardless of the fact I just drove from there over two days and many of creepy Louisiana's back roads to finally make it there). So on I went and began all the paperwork and acquiring of gear to get ready to pack for it. From there I started hearing bits a pieces from guys who went to similar training in D.C., it got my interest up. Our final briefing by our Platoon Sergeant was that we were the first active component to do this and to get ready for some hard training. I started to get excited for it. Also I found out it was DCRF instead of D-Surf...oops.

On May 2nd of 2011 I got on a bus and headed to Ocala, Florida for our training. Through the 10 weeks of training we learned Hazmat, Rope Rescue, Confined Spaces Rescue, Vehicle Rescue, Trench Rescue, and Structural Collapse Rescue. We learned from Florida State firefighters who had been to disaster sites at Ground Zero, Haiti, New Orleans, and Oklahoma City. The training itself was long and intensive with two weeks doing scenarios in full chem gear (basically plastic suits and gas masks) in full blown Florida summer. We got further briefings that put it all into perspective. DCRF means Defensive CBRN Response Force and under this we answer to Army North. In the standard operations procedure if a major disaster happened we'd have to wait until a political offical called the Department of Defense for help. So we'd have to wait for the City, County, State, Reserves, and National Guard to be overwhelmed in order to call us. In effect the hopes of us ever deploying went from high to slimmer than an eye lash.

We came back to Fort Polk in July and were ready to get into it. We got our equipment in for 1st platoon. We had 10 guys unloading, accounting, moving, and storing a full tractor trailer of equipment in 105-116 degree heat all day for two weeks. When we first got it, the civilians who ordered it had to inventory it, then supply, then our Lieutenant. Next we had to move it between three different storage areas. It just kept going on. Then 3rd platoon came back and got their equipment and a "training cache" so two tractors full of it. A few months in we were pretty much like "fuck this shit". And of course half of the equipment was different that what we used in Florida, so we got to push our "ADAPT" buttons multiple times.

The highlight of it all was when JAG provided our use of force brief; not a rules of engagement brief...use of force. It had 12 points which was all conditional and contradicted each point to where I am better off just carrying a stick if we deploy and need weapons. We all looked at the paper provided to us and looked at in confusion.

Sir, if we shoot someone in self defense we have to provide first aid immediately after?!

We train all the time for it, so our skills haven't diminshed. We have won accolades from generals left and right, but we still haven't deployed. Its come to the point where people would rather deploy to a war zone than this. Personally, I'm getting sick of carrying around my entire equipment loadout for a layout.

In reality there is a legitimate need for what we are doing here, but don't expect us to come flying out to your trailer park just because a category 5 tornado hit your county. That is, unless it was a category 5 tornado with a 7.0 magnitude earthquake, or a fire tornado, or a Sarin or Tabun fueled hurricane, or the second coming of Christ. Then we would totally be there for that!

Actually, now that I see this, cancel the fire tornado. That shit just screams "don't screw with me!"